happy new year.
this account stinks. :D
just kidding.
ahahaha.
i have been using this as a outlet for excruciating emotional dillema, since this blog is known for some.
hekhek.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
blank - Music:Just Dance - Lady Gaga
i'm getting tired of reading statements or whatever regarding about life.
and also i'm so sick of reading tragic love stories like they are the only ones who are experiencing pain and all happiness deprivation. like, is it right to depend all your ecstatic emotion on love? i mean, yeah, love of friends is okay. and so as love of family, pets, classmates and all. you know what i mean. hekhek. lab. lab. lab. this is sickening me. i can't stand absorbing all its negative vibes. but i'm laughing my head as though they're gonna die without love. some needs an oxygen tank when they lack of love. love = oxygen. stupidity. there are more important things than that. like social issues and its concern. AHAHAHAHAHA! okay. whatever. so to clear things up, i have been in love, of course. have to learn it not so hard way. hehehe. i felt that all you need is a little realization, then booooooom! it became koko crunch. it isn't so complicated. we all got handful of pains and all that stuff, but it's part of freaking life. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! it's pathetic. some serve it as a basis of you are as a person. like you need to have one to be fit in. nooooooooo. it's so wrong.
true love can wait everyone.
so, i'll stop this freaking thing that i'm writing. cause i'm getting no where. it's a drunk's note, i guess.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
tired - Music:I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
i'm a loser.
i'm in deep pain.
i am trembling with anger and pain.
but i'll just let it subside until i get too tired.
i don't have the right to blame anyone.
so, some pains are just fine to keep it to yourself.
no one will bother to help you.
no one can understand your pain.
i'm so sick of this carousel ride.
i'm too tired of running in circles.
i'm too tired of expecting.
i'm tired of my life.
my existence is indeed absurd.
i am just merely nothing.
i am just nothing but a dirt on your shirt.
a shit from your anus.
your waste of time.
and curse be that day.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
sad - Music:Look to the Sky (DDR Max 2)
do not turn back time.
nevermind the good memories.
it hurts to reminisce all over again, to think that it began to be part of the so-called "memory".
so what happened now?
it's hell.
bullshit hell.
I have to carry on and start a new life to patch up things and mend some wounds.
it is really difficult.
yes it is.
sometimes I wish that I can control my thoughts to process.
so that it will be easier to get out of the mess (mess really?) that creeps me.
thank God my hippocampus isn't functioning well.
I became more forgetful and I am not hoping you to be part of it.
I want to get out of my skin and banish myself in this inconstant world.
stop thinking.
stop thinking.
there is no better way to stop thinking.
dreams are becoming the extension of what I desire.
desires are unattainable for such reasons that I am to be blamed.
it is my fault.
yes it is.
you can put the blame on me.
I am being selfish, irascible, childish and all sorts of things.
what I should I do?
I am a slave of my own high ego.
and I did nothing to prevent it.
the only question that is left answered is, "BAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?!"
violent reactions are always welcome.
- Location:bedroom floor
- Mood:
lethargic - Music:Chicsilog - Kamikazee
and i haven't change.
i am the same old girl who loves to procrastinate and cram when the finals is just an hours away.
i am glad for we only have four subjects for the finals.
but Inochem is killing me because i haven't passed a quiz yet.
like see ya in summah.
crap.
our zoology prof promised that he will make the exam super easy but we still have to review.
i am hoping, really, really hoping that it is easy as it was promised.
thank God it's scheduled in the last day.
here's the sched if you are care to know.
wednesday - math111
thursday (hell day) - inochem1 and lbych14
friday - zoology
okay.
i have lots pf procrastinating to do.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: exhausted
- Music:vacuum cleaner
Welcome Krizia Oclarit, here is your handwriting analysis.
Krizia uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Krizia does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Krizia will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Krizia is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Krizia doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
Krizia will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!
In reference to Krizia's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Krizia slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Krizia can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Krizia is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Krizia basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
One way Krizia punishes herself is self directed sarcasm. She is a very sarcastic person. Often this sarcasm and "sharp tongued" behavior is directed at herself.
Krizia has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.
Something is incomplete in Krizia's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Krizia's sexual needs.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Krizia has left some white space on the left side of the paper. Krizia fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion moving the entire writing rightward as she moves down the page. If this is true, then Krizia has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Krizia is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Krizia is leaving the past behind and moving on to what she perceives as an exciting and enticing future.
- Location:school (cybernook)
- Mood:
stressed - Music:keyboard sound
it's been 27 weeks since the last time i posted an entry here.
i've been using my blooger account instead so that i will not force myself to write my entries in english.
what am i after 27 weeks?
i am a frosh in DLSU-M.
a human biology student.
aspiring to be a doctor.
come third term, i am planning to shift in BS Psychology.
just planning.
hekhek.
i am really stressed because of the pressure, demands, long exams, etc.
that's a brief description about me for this moment.
----------------------------------------
Omnia mutantur nos et mutantur in illis
all things change, and we change in them.
----------------------------------------
have you ever felt being ditched?
letting the bitch out of you.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
so offensive.
damn.
almost unforgivable.
but hey!
i am no one. so it's nonsense to cultivate grudges because s/he is someone.
yayayayaya.
life is unfair.
we're in a carousel ride, going in circles.
it will always be like that until we finally accept it.
so if you ever ditched someone.
do not bother to wonder why s/he is acting cold to ya.
better ask him/her the reason because it may lead to simple misuderstanding.
if you don't want.
it's not his/her problem.
it's yours.
damn it.
- Location:other bedroom
- Mood: sleepy
- Music:Disturbia - Rihanna
weehoo..
i'm really unlucky to have a peabrain..
the entrance exam results are out..
and i passed 2 out of 4 college exams..
weeee..
the sad thing is i failed the acet and upcat..
ateneo is my first choice..
and it so sad that i didn't passed the acet which for me is easier than dlsuet..
that's why i blame myself being suckish for not passing my desire campus..
i have second/double thoughts of entering dlsu..
because i feel intimidated just hearing the school's name..
ugh..
i don't think the excel for my course..
i've read the manual that on the 3rd year of my course, we will be transferred to the dasma branch because that's their college of medicine is located..
eeeekk..
my choice now is ust..
but my mother disagree..
she is pursuading me to enter lasalle..
but we don't have enough money for my tuition and other miscellaneous fees..
plus, next year, my sister will also enter college and i will be just a burden for my family for the super expensive fees..
what a dilemma..
*sigh*
i suck..
that's all..
it seems that there is nothing that i can do..
blah-blah-blah..
it's hard when autism strikes again and you are getting overwhelmed by the jubilant emotion..
suprisingly, you can easily switch your emotion for being exuberant to being depressed..
i've got much to say..
but i have some unfinished stuffs to do..
so, goodbye then..
PARTING IS SUCH A SWEET SORROW..
- Location:same old bedroom
- Mood: tired
- Music:blue and yellow - the used
happy new year to all!
classes will resume on thursday and still, there are a lot of stuffs to do.
my birthday is getting near and it seems that i'm not yet prepared. it's awful getting old. i have plans in doing something on my birthday but too bad it's our math camp. so, i have to change plans. ahaha. i dont what shall i do on my birthday. geez. i'm not excited.
it's been a long time since i post an entry here. but try to visit my other blog. hehe. it is more updated. and also, if you don't mind, try to listen to this song.
Empty by Click Five
Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty
Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
We're empty
We're empty
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love [2x]
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
blah - Music:Empty - Click Five
Empty by Click Five
Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty
Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty
We're empty
We're empty
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love [2x]
- Music:Empty - Click
it's so awful to think that we have to change direction.. it's for our future, of course.. but i never thought that it will be painful to leave all those good and bad memories in that school.. i will miss them all.. especially kapitan.. ailab kapitan! but not what you thought in what i mean.. wahahaha! okay.. nevermind him.. but.. okay nevermind.. wuhoo.. my mind is getting chaotic..
i still dont want to graduate.. grrrrrr.. i'm not yet ready.. no.. i'm not yet prepared.. the feeling sucks.. i really enjoy being a high school student.. even though it has down side..
we stil have buch of stuffs to do.. like the research thingy.. and porks is my fartner.. hekhek.. we're studying about the reasons and methods why munscian cheat.. okay.. it struck me.. at first.. ahaha.. we have reasons why we cheat.. and i think, 95% of students in a room cheat.. even the top 1, i think.. even the pilot section cheats.. even the teachers cheat.. and lovers.. and we're getting far from what i mean..
by the way, priestley won the speech choir.. yipee! i'm very glad.. BWAHAHAHA! because many people are expecting that it will be either pascal or pasteur will win.. and also peter said DAW that only pascal and pasteur will be the two strongest competitor in the contest.. very alarming indeed.. so the 2nd floor sections support each other (i think) and prepared very well.. and it paid off.. wahahahaha! good leadership krsna!!!
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: lonely
- Music:Fall Out Boy - I'm like a lawyer with the way I'm always trying to get you off
"In love, we worry more about the meaning of silences than the meaning of words."
- Mason Cooley
- emotion
- music
- response
- action
- reaction
and etc.. hehe.. take notice of that..
okay.. i don't like it..
awesome! haha! i like that..
i wonder some people give importance to the silence, which is they thought of something and gives meaning to it.. something deeper that only two scared people can understand.. ok.. how pathetic.. well words is more important.. duh.. you need to communicate.. how can you get to know each other if there's silence..
ambot..
torpe.. wahahaha! it's alright torpe boys.. wahahaha.. i think you're just scared.. but anyway, i don't care.. if it's that what you want to do, if you don't want to lose someone important (awwww tagos.. can't take it).. i can relate a little bit.. wahahaha! it's really pathetic isn't it? but what shall we do.. it's too risky.. and some things will only go to waste..
but still there's no harm of trying.. proper timing is important.. and also,
proper:
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:you don't miss your water - craig david
| ||
|
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: sleepy
- Music:kuliglig
wuhooo.. classes will start again tomorrow.. eeeeekkk.. don't like it.. there are still stuffs left to do..
- Location:bedroom
- Music:fix you up - tegan and sara
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you
whew.. last song syndrome.. it has an effect to me.. it's the chorus of Look After You by The Fray.. got an impact.. i love it.. i remember someone while listening to this song.. while thinking to him/her, i think it's kinda ironic.. eeeeeeekkk... no, i'm not a tomboy.. okay.. him..
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
happy - Music:look after you - the fray
okay.. that's my assigned novel and i'm super duper forced to read it.. and we have to do an at least 8 page report about that.. eeeeeekk.. i'm getting jaded.. tsk.. tsk.. i don't know.. i'm getting tired of being a 4th year student.. damn the mobilization! i'm getting tired of moving around the school with a heavy bag with all the stuffs that you need.. agh.. and there this research thingy that is killing all the seniors.. agh.. agh.. agh..
so, i'm stuck here.. i'll try my best to finish at least half of the novel so that i can tell half of its story and show them evidently that i have no interest in reading the never-ending adventures of a boy from mississippi.. but anyway, huck finn is better that tom sawyer in the sense of intellectual aspects.. some critics said that tom sawyer is tend to be self-centered and more stupid than huck finn.. but i don't care.. hehe..
i would rather read these novels. if it is only choose your own. damn.:
- lord of the flies
- catcher in the rye
- the scarlet letter
- the tales of two cities
but what shall i do.. i am forced to read my novel.. crap.. and so as the other seniors..
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: blank
- Music:by the way - red hot chili peppers
my friends and i decided to have a movie marathon at krsna's house today.. we almost didn't do it because i thought that krsna isn't in their house in the morning.. i went at krsna's place alone and saw that their gate is padlocked and the door is also locked.. i called her name and no one answered.. the dog is barking loud at me.. but i don't care.. hehe.. so i concluded that she's not there.. i told my friends that we should go to festi instead.. but of course, not all of my friends approved to my lousy suggestion.. then tugay said that i should go to school to meet some of the pakas, who were also there.. and so, i went to the school.. hehe..
the barkada is not complete.. inces and jessah are not there.. i don't know if they were informed or simply incapable to go due to some certain circumstances.. but we have fun at krsna's place.. and we exchange personal letters.. hehe.. i like that.. and sure i will keep all those handwritten letters that are products of people who put an effort to make it.. i love my friends.. i'm gonna miss them.. parting is indeed a sweet sorrow.. and they are my priceless possessions.. hehe.. drama walah..
by the way, we watched half of the The Notebook, because the vcd skip.. and they watched Hills Have Eyes.. haha! i'm not interested in watching horror movies.. and so as tugay.. hehe.. i dont know if they think that i'm isolating myself.. but it's not.. really.. it's not that i'm not really interested in watching those crappy films.. and they became addicted to the line that the child whisphered loud (daw)... it's DADEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! haha.. it's contagious.. i'm addicted to it also.. haha.. DADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! porks and khim are the people who were most frightened in the movie.. haha! too bad i didn't see their reaction while watching the movie.. but i do hear their screams.. hehe.. fantastic.. it's killing them.. haha!
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
good - Music:look after you - the fray
woot.. woot..
the cpr or first aid or BLS training is over.. how sad.. i'm gonna miss my rescue mates (haha!).. we have fun.. we enjoyed of course.. hehe.. thank God, we finished early.. i'm getting lazy to do the drills because of the lousy weather.. eeeekk.. i think we finished early because the teacher is lecturing fast and i wonder why she has to do it like that.. but not really fast.. i mean, faster than her colleagues or whatever.. or maybe it's just her red days.. eeeew.. i'll never forget this training.. because it got me ecstatic.. it isn't obvious, of course.. people around me might think i'm weird.. but actually, i dont care.. hehe.. but really, I'M SO HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
it is not an exaggeration you fool.. i really mean it.. yes! i really like it.. (okay, i'm GETTING Crazy..) yes! yes! YES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! wooohh..
woot. woot..
it's getting late..
but i have to be awake..
if not, i'm gonna be dead to my mother tomorrow..
and it will be another list in my sorrow..
because i have to wait for the iPod to be fully charged and i hate it..
is that a limerick? i have forgotten the rhythmic pattern.. gosh, am i getting too old? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! i don't want to grow-up yet.. i haven't fully enjoy to be young.. hehe..
woooh! thank God, Locs is fine now.. according to Mark, the owner.. hehe.. weeeee..
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
awake - Music:ocean drive - lifehouse
it's raining again.. badtrip.. my jogging pants got soaked up.. it is already loose so the jogging pants keeps getting down, even though i keep adjusting it.. argh.. by the way, i'm really tired this day.. because of the first aid training.. but i prefer to have a cpr training than a regular class because i dont want to see people who's always making my day bad.. haha! in the training, i'm with my barkada + mark + jonats.. hehe.. and i really enjoyed their company.. not only their company of course.. hehe.. some people might misinterpret that.. and i hate explaining things with people who has lower understanding than me.. haha.. ok. ok..
goodnight everyone.. it's getting late.. and it's the last day of first aid training tomorrow.. i have a hectic schedule this week..
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: worried
- Music:the background music of channelnewsasia
haha..
no..
i didn't create this account to transfer..
haha..
ala lang..
feels like it's more fun to post an entry in this blog that in the blogger because it's irritating.. it's super slow because the blogger is automatically saving every letter or punctuation mark you type.. and it's getting me nuts.. ahaha..
we have BLS-CPR training a while ago.. i enjoy a lot.. maybe a little.. maybe a lot.. ahaha! we have some practical activity in CPR.. yeah.. we do that CPR thing in an imported mannequin daw from norway.. and then the proctor at my back keeps reminding to do it fast because, i don't know.. marami pa daw susunod.. ampupu..
then, after dismissal time, we went to pesti bacause some of my friends are going to visit a psychic or a tarot card reader or whatever to know what lies ahead in their future.. that fascinates me and decides to try it.. mine is great! and so as to my friends.. yeah! ailabit.. hehe.. i'm not being skeptical when it comes in fortune telling stuffs.. well.. i have experienced a lot of cases when they are being predicted on something's gonna happen to them and didn't believe it.. and after some time, it comes true, leaving them ashamed to themselves because they did not believe it at first.. haha! i love the experience.. really.. the woman only asks for coins as a token for her service.. i gave her all that i have (which is only eleven pesos.. hehe..). and i don't forgot to thank her because my friends are being carried away by the fortune telling session and almost forgotten to thank her.. hehe..
geh.. that's all muna...
hope Locs (mark's rabbit) will be fine tomorrow..
it is all also breaking my heart to know that his pet is sick..
bka may crasnat din..
hehe..
- Location:bahay..
- Mood: indescribable
- Music:none.. the sound of the fan that keeps cool..
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locsie- L'Impératrice at Bloom
- I all alone beweep my outcast state
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